Freethinker Punch

As is becoming our yearly tradition, we hosted the 4th of July again this year, an event that plays well to my main culinary strengths: pork and booze. Per my standard party trick, the latter was a non-alcoholic punch base flanked by spirits and wine, a configuration I can't recommend highly enough. Not suggested with fireworks, though; we loaded up on lawn games instead.

I got a bit of feedback that this wasn't my best punch to date, which is fair. I wasn't too much bothered, since this capably performed its dual mission of fueling the party and soaking up a ton of random shit that had accumulated in my fridge, which is a thing that happens. Sigh - such trials and tribulations!

This is about a quarter-serving of the amount for the party, so based on the amount we had left, I'd say enough for 6-8 people or so?

4 oz lemon oleo-saccharum (we've made this before, but it deserves a rundown... just not now)
4 oz mango shrub (a cup each of diced mango, apple cider vinegar, sugar, and water, allowed to steep together in the fridge for 2-3 weeks)
4 oz lime water (a bunch of spent lime shells, infused in water for about 2 weeks)
4 oz lime juice (not the juice of said limes, because 2-week-old lime juice is nasty)
8 oz cantaloupe juice (spiked with about 1/2 teaspoon citric acid for balance)
8 oz green tea
12 oz ginger beer (Reed's)
16 oz soda water

Combine in a punch bowl over copious ice. Serve with your favorite white spirits and wine.

Pink Ribbon Punch

Barbecues are among my favorite events to throw. This is thanks primarily to two easy, delicious things: grilled meat, and punch. I like to think that our summer gatherings are becoming known for both.

This particular version was inspired directly by cheap, tasty-looking watermelon, so I garnished it with some frozen into large ice blocks, with watermelon frozen in the middle, you guys! This is something I've always wanted to try but never had the foresight to manage; my wife, however, dubbed it "very Martha Stewart," which I'm pretty sure was derogatory. Whatever! It looked nice.

The following makes about half of the gargantuan amount seen to the left, which still didn't quite make it to the end of the party. I admit that I may have dumped a bit of it on the table trying to pour the dregs out of the punch bowl.

1 L watermelon juice (well-strained)
750 mL prosecco (something cheap and dry)
500 mL white rum (Bacardi)
500 mL soda water
4 oz lime juice
4 oz lime-coriander cordial
4 oz cranberry grenadine
4 oz Cocchi Americano

Combine in a punch bowl and float some large ice cubes to keep things cool (it helps if everything's well-chilled beforehand).

That's a pretty damn weird mix of metric and imperial units, I know, but it's how I measured, and it turned out really nicely, so I'm recording it verbatim.

Mocktail Month: Berry Patch

Now, sodas aren't always that exciting, but sometimes you nail it. Enough said.

3/4 oz strawberry-lemon syrup
3/4 oz blackberry shrub
3/4 oz lime juice
3 dashes Regan's No. 6 Orange Bitters

Shake briefly to combine and pour into a Collins glass; top off with about 6-8 oz soda water to taste.

I'll let this stand as one of the better examples of the prototypical soda. Really, there's no need to post more, so we'll attempt to be a little more inventive with this final leg of the month.

Easter Special

Did I forget to post this one? I forgot to post it. But that's okay - a little backlog helps make up for the terribly unproductive Mocktail Month so far. Honestly, it's been a lot of the same, and it's hard to get excited enough about a basic soda to throw a post together, even if it is handmade.

I have ideas in the works, though! I'm convinced that there has to be a way to make a substitute Negroni, or at least an Americano, probably involving Sanbitter but preferably something I can make at home. Maybe a tea concentrate and a heavily spiced syrup?

Until then: this. One of the signals that I'm getting fairly decent at this stuff is that when I ask my mother what I can bring for brunch, her response these days is as likely to be "How about you make something?" as the old standby bottle of wine. I made this low-caliber punch-type thing for Easter. The name wrote itself.

For ease of transport, the end product was a scaled-up bottled cocktail. The proportions given in the picture aren't the final version; I just needed an illustration for the post. A couple trial runs produced the following end proportions.

This makes roughly two liters of finished cocktail.

12 oz light white wine (I used a cheap gruner veltliner, but a mild pinot grigio or sauvignon blanc would do fine too)
9 oz gin (nothing fancy; New Amsterdam here)
6 oz Byrrh
3 oz Aperol
3 oz cinnamon syrup
1 1/2 oz orange juice
1 1/2 oz lemon juice

Mix this together and bottle until ready to serve. When ready, combine with an equal proportion of soda water and serve in wine glasses.

Mocktail Month: Short Shrift

Well, we're off to a slow start with Mocktail Month. Like my stretches of hiatus, there has been plenty of effort but nothing I quite dig enough to share.

This, however, I cranked out because after wrestling with some cod in a very not-nonstick pan, I really wanted a concentrated, potent drink. However, I also didn't want to provide my wife with any ammunition (and, you know, let's at least pretend that I have some god-damn willpower) so we had a concentrated, potent mocktail instead.

2 oz cryo-cucumber juice
3/4 oz blackberry shrub
1/2 oz gin & tonic syrup
2 dashes Bitter Truth Celery Bitters
2 dashes Bitter Truth Tonic Bitters

Shake like a madman and strain over fresh ice in a short glass. Top with a (short) splash of soda and stir.

This one would have worked very well with a bit of ginger beer instead of soda, maybe with a little extra acid for balance. But it was pretty damn satisfying as-is.

Fairweather Friend

Random days off taken on a whim are pretty much the best kind. Perhaps the only thing better, as I discovered today, is knuckling down and plowing through the to-do list that you expected to take pretty much all day. Suddenly you've a free couple of hours, the sun's come out, and you have nothing better to do than hang out on the porch with a book and the very first proper drink you've had for four full days. God damn - can things get any better? I doubt it.

Given the circumstance, I figured I'd better ease back into things a bit. I've been building up some ideas, though, so rest assured - you'll probably see a couple pop up here later tonight.

1 3/4 oz cucumber vodka (homemade, preferably, but you could cheat and buy one)
3/4 oz gin & tonic syrup (this was a slightly tweaked and simplified version)
3 dashes Bitter Truth Tonic Bitters

Build over large ice cubes in a large collins glass and fill with soda. Stir gently to combine and garnish with a cucumber wheel if you've got one.

Mocktail Month: Kitchen Counter

Well folks, it's gotta happen now and again. I obviously love a good drink, but there can be too much of a good thing. My wife and I are therefore embarking on a new, extended edition of Mocktail Week, because obviously we still need something to drink, and I'll be recording our favorites as we go.

Now, fear not - this won't be as stringent as the original Mocktail Week. We're still allowing ourselves the weekends, and I'll pop in with an occasional proper cocktail here and there, but we might mostly towards the comforting simplicity of beer and whiskey. Besides which, we'll probably still be at least somewhat moderate. One of the better things about an extended booze-free period is its ability to reset your tolerance, which is great! It'd be nice to go out sometimes and not suffer regrets when the bill arrives.

So: an initial entry for our inaugural day. This one was kind of a kitchen-sink approach, but then I named it after where most of the first attempt wound up.

3/4 oz cinnamon syrup

3/4 cranberry tonic syrup (I'll provide the recipe later)

1/2 oz orange juice

1/2 oz lemon juice

Shake and strain over fresh ice, then top with 5-6 oz soda water and stir.

A good start, but I'd like to amp up the bitterness quotient a bit, maybe with a black tea concentrate or something; the tonic, while tasty, didn't have quite enough bite. We might see a revised version of this one. 

Corey Taylor

I followed Dave Arnold's advice for coriander syrup, which proves to be an interesting replacement for ginger syrup. It's a neat substitution in one of my favorite highballs.

2 oz blended scotch (Famous Grouse this time)
1 oz coriander syrup*
3/4 oz lime juice
3-4 oz soda water (to taste)

Build over ice in a tall glass. Large ice cubes are recommended.

*This is a simplified version of a recipe from Liquid Intelligence, but it's still a bit more involved than my typical syrup method, so I figure I should explain. Combine 1 1/2 cups sugar, 1 1/2 cups water, 1/2 cup of coriander seeds, 1 teaspoon black peppercorns, and 1-2 whole dried arbol chilies in a saucepan over medium heat. Bring the whole thing up to a simmer until the sugar dissolves and then blend to break up the solids. You can do this in an actual blender (and I would have with a larger batch) or very carefully apply a hand blender. Remove from the heat and let the whole thing infuse until you're happy with the flavor, at which point run it through a strainer and a coffee filter while it's still warm.

I was terrified that this name would turn out to be a character from 90210 or something, but he's actually a heavy metal guy. Much more appropriate!

Ice Blue

Winter is normally a time for brown spirits, rich spices, and warm drinks. But sometimes I paradoxically find that I need a tall, cool, refreshing beverage right when it's coldest. It's like I have to fool my body into thinking that it's high summer based on my cocktail choice, nevermind the thick sweater and blankets everywhere.

Then again, maybe I'm weird (hah - maybe?!?) or perhaps I just wanted an excuse to test-drive this blueberry syrup. In any case, we'll revisit this one in six months or so.

1 1/2 oz gin (Tanqueray, naturally)
1/2 oz blueberry syrup*
1/2 oz cryo-cucumber juice
1/2 oz lime juice (lemon would easily do)

Combine over ice in a tall glass; top with 3-4 oz soda water to taste. Garnish with a couple of fresh blueberries, as though you can get fresh god-damned blueberries in the middle of fucking winter; maybe in a few months' time. Keep drinking until then.

* You could juice your own blueberries, although it'd be a mess; instead we found a pure blueberry juice (from concentrate, but at least it's all blueberry) on sale down at our local "hippie grocery place", as my sister dubbed it recently after a couple cocktails. I added 12 ounces of this stuff to a saucepan, added 8 ounces of natural sugar, brought the whole thing to a simmer, and reduced it back down to 12 ounces. I then added 1/2 teaspoon citric acid and about ten drops of rose water, just to get some of that perfume-y essence back. You can probably tell by the fact I'm recording it that the result was pretty fucking tasty. I expect to use it in more appropriate winter cocktails very soon.

Easy Cider Punch

This is a simple, low-proof punch that I put together for our Christmas party, and then assembled again at request for our good friends' New Years' party (making this Kader Punch #2, I suppose). Unlike a lot of my recent punches, it's alcoholic, but not overly so; somewhere around the 5% ABV you see in craft session beers.

In truth, it started out as an attempt to use up multiple gallons of cider we brewed this year, which were intended as our original party favor. Seeing as it was the first time we'd ever home-brewed... well, anything, that probably wasn't the best plan. The initial fermentation went fine, but the secondary fermentation (to dry out and carbonate the cider) didn't take properly, and we found ourselves with a couple dozen 22-oz bombers of fairly sweet, lightly alcoholic apple juice. What to do? Add some acid, add some bubbles, and serve in a punch bowl. Easy peasy.

We served ours alongside a couple bottles of spirit for enhancement (because it's a fucking party, after all) and I was amazed at how quickly it went. Quickly enough that once again, I didn't manage to get a picture. Between both parties, we're talking like 4 gallons here, more if you include the volume of ice, polished off to the last drop. Everybody found their favorite spirit combo, too. My sister swore by vodka, my personal favorite was scotch, but most people settled on gin. The only combination that didn't work was when I accidentally added horseradish-infused vodka to my glass of punch. Just... no. Learn from my horrible mistake. (I drank it, of course, to punish myself for such foolishness.)

Anyway, because this used home-brew cider, duplicating the recipe is a little bit problematic. Most ciders you find at your friendly neighborhood booze-mart will be carbonated, which is better for consumption on its own, but they'll get expensive in these quantities. There's not a lot of still cider out there, but Crispin does make a still, affordable boxed version which would do nicely. Failing that, you could brew your own, which is really pretty easy, or you could just pony up and buy a sufficient quantity of sparkling cider.

1 3-liter box (or 5 22-oz bomber bottles) apple cider

2 750 mL bottles brut rose cava (Cristalino is my highly affordable go-to) 

2 1-liter bottles soda water (or break out the siphon)

4 oz lemon oleo-saccharum

4 oz thyme syrup

4 oz cranberry juice (the actual real stuff, not cranberry cocktail)

10 dashes Peychaud's bitters

10 dashes Angostura bitters

Chill the cider, cava, and soda water. Add ice to a punch bowl, then add the syrups, cranberry juice, and bitters (you can pre-measure and combine these in a Mason jar for speedy service or transport). Add the cider and stir to combine. Carefully add the cava and soda water, then stir gently. Taste and adjust to your liking; if it's too sweet, try a little lemon juice and additional bitters, if too tart add some extra cider. 

Serve with a few spirits that you want to use up (along with measuring glasses so people don't accidentally over-serve) and get the next batch ready, because the first will be gone quickly.

Loony Lemonade

An easy drink, this, and way too easy-drinking. Sorry about the awful name, but it was just too easy.

1 1/2 oz Loonshine
1 oz thyme syrup
1 oz lemon juice

Combine over ice and top with 4-5 oz soda water. Stir and garnish with a large lemon coin.

Taproot

Bourbon review is still coming, I promise. In the meantime, here's a drink born from sheer,  intense laziness. I'm almost embarrassed to be posting this, as it's one of the simplest drinks I've ever assembled.

3 oz Averna
3 oz carbonated cucumber water

Combine over ice.

Yeah, that's seriously it. Totally worth trying, though. Tastes like an absurdly good root beer, according to my wife.

Citron Soda

Here's a good (and somewhat rare for me!) non-alcoholic recipe.  It's essentially my attempt to recreate San Pellegrino Pompelmo (an actual grapefruit soda, unlike my ironically-titled Grownup version) with some enhancements to just pretty much every citrus-related ingredient I had at hand.

6 oz lemon syrup (a standard simple made with extensive lemon zest, one of my favorites)
6 oz fresh ruby red grapefruit juice
2 oz fresh lime juice
20 oz soda water
6 dashes orange bitters
6 drops orange flower water

Combine the above in a 1-liter glass bottle.

This is tasty just served over ice as a refresher.  Of course, if you want something boozy, I find that this makes a delicious gimlet/tonic hybrid if combined with dry gin (or vodka, or light rum, or white tequila) in about a 2:1 (soda : liquor) ratio.  I also like to spike this with a quick dash of Aperol or Campari for color and to back up the grapefruit flavor.

Soda Siphon Experiments

With the approach of warmer weather, I've been spending a lot more time perched on our patio, drink in one hand, book in the other.  That drink is usually a long one, something thirst-quenching and relatively low in alcohol - a caress rather than a punch.  Most recently, I've been experimenting with my beloved soda siphon, using it to construct pre-made carbonated cocktails.

Once you've got a decent set of bar tools and glassware, a soda siphon is a logical step in specialized equipment.  Sure, they cost a little bit, and the chargers aren't free either, although you can find them cheap in bulk online.  Yet a splash of soda water adds life and lightness to many drinks, and opens up a whole world of easy homemade sodas when you want (or need) something non-alcoholic.  You can buy acrid, overly sharp soda water in bottles that go flat within hours of opening, or you can bite the bullet and invest in the tools to make your own on demand.  I think it's obvious which route I recommend.

Not included in the manufacturer's directions (which you should obviously read) is the possibility for adding more than just water to your siphon.  It's best not to use anything very acidic or thick, since you don't want to corrode or gum up the inner workings, but that still leaves a lot of room to maneuver.  For example, I poured in a somewhat boring bottle of sweet rhubarb wine, augmented with a splash of crisp Sauvignon Blanc and topped off with water.  After charging and letting rest in the fridge (which helps hold the carbonation better for some reason) I had a light and refreshing sparkling wine spritzer enjoyed by all.

Below is an example of a general formula I've hashed out over time.  The proportions make for a light and refreshingly bitter highball, best served in a tall glass with plentiful ice.  You can serve as much or as little as desired, and substitute ingredients to your whim.

This particular recipe is a riff on the Americano, the father of the Negroni, with a couple of well-placed accents.  The weirdo total volume is because a 1-liter soda siphon holds slightly less than that when you account for a small amount of necessary airspace.

200 ml Aperol (or Campari)
100 ml gin (London Dry, Old Tom, or Hendrick's are all welcome)
50 ml maraschino liqueur (Luxardo, duh)
600 ml cucumber water

Pour into a 1-liter soda siphon, charge, and let chill for at least 2 hours.  Pour slowly over plentiful ice and garnish with cucumber slices.

If you're not using a siphon, use the following proportions per serving.

1 1/3 oz Aperol; 2/3 oz gin; 1/3 oz Luxardo; 2 oz soda water; 2 oz cucumber water

Again, this is a formula highly amenable to substitution.  Try the following combinations in the same proportions as above.

Cynar - silver tequila - St. Germain - cantaloupe water

Punt e Mes - blended scotch - Cointreau - lemon water

I have a few tonic recipes around and may try a precharged version soon.  It's getting close to G&T season. In the meantime, any of these do very nicely.