Wise Man

Hey look, another lapse! It's another season where I just haven't been mixing much original stuff - largely gin & tonics and daiquiris, for some reason. Just to keep the suspense from building too much, here's a backlog item for you.

I started screwing around with this concept a little while ago after purchasing a bottle of Bombay Sapphire East, which was an unusual purchase for me. I'm not a fan (at all) of standard Bombay Sapphire, but a bar-master friend had me try a competition drink of his once using this as the base, and I got hooked. This version adds lemongrass and black pepper to the normal Sapphire botanicals, which I think adds some depth and spice to what is otherwise a fairly bland gin. I got to thinking one morning (don't judge me) how the "eastern" concept might get along nicely with tea, so I assembled this the moment I got home from work. It's still a work in process (I don't think the balance is quite there) but let's record it anyway.

1 oz Bombay Sapphire East
1 oz cognac (any decent VS or better brandy ought to do)
1 oz Bonal (honestly, I might try straight-up sweet vermouth next time)
1 oz chilled oolong tea (can't remember exactly what kind)
1/4 oz Licor 43 (to balance the astringency of the tea)

Stir and strain into a chilled coupe glass. A lemon twist garnish is a good idea here, but don't tell anybody I said so.

The mix here was based on the Ampersand, which I think is something of an unfairly obscure lost cocktail. Again, I don't think this exact recipe quite nailed the balance, but I find the concept intriguing, and the drink's light body quite fit for summer. Some further renditions might pop up here soon.

Plaza Nueva

So you've got all this god-damned weird booze hanging around and you're wondering what to do with it. The answer, of course, is to make several of these. Okay, it's a partial answer, but it'll take care of half the bottles.

Regular readers (all 3 of them) may recognize this name as a throwback to one of my earlier personal recipes, one of the few that's ever actually made it onto a menu. Plaza Vieja, meet Plaza Nueva. I think I would tout this one as both a more faithful and much tastier take on the original Vieux Carre, but my past self might accuse me of bias.

Also, linking back to those older takes makes me realize that I've been keeping this little blog for over three years. God damn.

1 oz Fidelitas Obstler
1 oz Espolon Anejo
1 oz sweet vermouth (Carpano Antica)
1 dash green Chartreuse
2 dashes Regan's No. 6 Orange Bitters
2 dashes Bitter Truth Xocolatl Bitters
2 drops salt solution (or a couple grains of sea salt sprinkled into the mixing glass)

Rinse a cocktail glass or small snifter with mezcal (which I keep in an atomizer, same as the absinthe, for just this sort of application) and place in the freezer. Stir the remaining ingredients and strain into this glass, then garnish with a lemon peel expressed over the top and discarded (so that it doesn't get in the way, you see).

Hanging Garden

I love mint in cocktails, but it's an annoyingly short-lived ingredient. A properly stored syrup will keep for months; you can keep citrus in a bowl for at least a week; mint, once it's picked, will only make it a couple days before it starts to wilt. It's sad - but even sadder, that's one of the exact reasons that we're planning on hanging planters on our front porch. Fresh mint on demand!

1 oz vodka (Moskovskaya)

3/4 oz Fidelitas Obstler

3/4 oz gin syrup

3/4 oz lime juice

12 mint leaves

Shake the liquid ingredients first, then add the mint leaves and shake briefly and brutally; you want to break up the mint a bit without bruising it too much. Strain (but don't double-strain; you want those lovely green specks) into a cocktail glass and gaze at the frothy goodness that requires no additional garnish or fine, float a fucking mint leaf on top, then, if you've got extra.

Spirits: Bizarre Booze Roundup

Woohoo! Having finally escaped the clutches of Mocktail Month, we can get back to serious drinking! Sipping. Sampling. Analysis. Whatever.

It was a good month, and certainly a helpful way to recalibrate, but now it's been a while since we did some spirits review. Heck, it's been a while since I went out and bought a bunch of booze based on whatever caught my eye - but that was exactly what happened the other evening.  It started as an innocent stop (honestly) with the notion of grabbing a bottle of wine, and ended with whatever you'd call this motley collection. God-damned strange is what I'd call them. Some very appealingly, others... less so, but still interesting. Let's have a taste, shall we?

St. George California Agricole Rum

About: The wizards of St. George Spirits feature prominently in one of my favorite recent non-fiction books, Adam Rogers' Proof. They make one of my absolute favorite gins, plus a California single malt, plus a great domestic absinthe, so I tend to trust their judgement. This is, according to the bottle, their rendition of an agricole-style rum (and, to be fair, if I'm going to blatantly ignore the whiskey/whisky debate, it seems pedantic of me to point out that it should be spelled "rhum" here) and is pot-distilled from fresh sugarcane. The label also includes the word "audacious", which... yes. That is a positive term for it.

Notes: The instant I opened this it smelled familiar, but impossible to place. I had to enlist my wife's help (she has a much better sense of smell than I) and she nailed it immediately. Olives: this stuff absolutely reeks of olives, specifically buttery little castelvetranos for some reason. The nose is so one-note and intense that it's really offputting; it's overwhelming even from a few inches above the glass. After a few minutes to sit it starts releasing some rhum-y notes of rubber and gunpowder, which is good because damned if I want to drink it before then. On the palate, those olive notes mercifully take a backseat; it's a more traditional rhum character, with fresh grassy sugarcane, intense vegetal notes, more petroleum (sounds like a bad thing, but it's very central to the style) and a little bit of melon. Then, god-dammit, the olives take over the finish with their vague brininess, backed up with modest congener funk that lingers for a while. A little lump of ice actually brings out the brine much more than I would have thought. I'm going to have to reserve this one for cocktails, where the saline character might bring some intriguing depth; I fucking love olives, but apparently not in my rum. Gotta say, I'm pretty disappointed in St. George right now. Either I got a poor batch of this, or they're being very "audacious" indeed.

Fidelitas Obstler

About: The name, and the origin, is extremely German. It looks to be an unaged brandy, and the label tells me it's a blend of 20% pear and 80% apple brandy, though it doesn't say whether they're combined before or after distillation. This delightfully translated page tells me that the distiller makes a number of other products, some of which I think I've tried, notably a raspberry brandy. However, my favorite part is this:

Especially the pear brandy is popular and well known among friends of the fruit moth. He is sorted fired from the Williams Christian pear, which has a particularly strong flavor.

Indeed. I have no idea who these "friends of the fruit moth" might be.

Notes: Very ripe and delicate compared to a lot of unaged brandies I've had; the nose smells like nothing so much as smelling the outside of a ripe, sweet Bartlett pear. Interesting, given that it's only about 20% pear brandy. Creamy pear predominates on the palate too, though there are some sweet apple notes present, with boatloads of vanilla and a little amaretto-ish sweet almond flavor for backing. Really dig the sweet, smooth body of this one. The finish is quite gentle too relative to similar spirits, just a little tickle of white pepper and a touch of lingering heat. This would be a really nice dessert sipper, but I'm looking forward to a trial run in some cocktails too.

Espolòn Añejo Tequila

About: This one may not look like an oddity at first, but it definitely is for two reasons. First, it's a relatively cheap yet high-quality añejo tequila! That's neat, but not a big shock given how much I enjoy Espolòn's reposado product. After spending about a year aging in classic white oak, this older edition is also finished in ex-bourbon barrels, ones from the Wild Turkey distillery, no less (yum). This has a subtle but definite effect on the final flavor, adding a bit of charred bourbon character to an already complex spirit. Here is a decent interview with a more detailed description of the process and product. I am totally on board, especially given that I found it for less than $30, at which price I really should have grabbed another half-dozen bottles before they realized their terrible mistake.

Notes: All classic, aged tequila on the nose. Rich, vegetal, full of ripe pineapple and oxidized notes reminiscent of a medium sherry. That's a pretty apt description of the palate, too. There's definitely a lot of rich caramel, pineapple, and guava. Some grassy and red-pepper notes provide a bit of backup, but the interesting part is a very dry-sherry-like saline character, with even a little bit of the iodine notes that Islay scotch is famous for. The bourbon finish takes hold in an oaky flush towards the end, with some dark spicy notes and more of that oxidized sherry flavor. Tequila that reminds me of scotch? Yeah, actually, and it's awesome!

Koval Millet Whiskey

About: Remember when we talked about Koval's oat whiskey and I off-handedly joked that they had a millet variety too? Well, I fucking found it! Right next to the oat product, and a "four grains" variety; not too surprising, I wouldn't have known where to shelve this either. Looking at this induces a kind of vertigo for me, as my most personal experience with millet is when I fed it to my childhood pet parakeets as a treat. Since it's gluten-free, and has a protein content very similar to wheat, it does appear to have had a slight resurgence in health-food circles as an alternative grain, but I don't know if I'll ever see it as anything other than birdseed. And here's some whiskey made from the stuff. God damn, don't we live in strange and exciting times?

Notes: Another very unusual nose for the category, this one like nothing so much as bubble gum. There's some woody scent behind that, and a sort of amaretto character, thankfully; this isn't a repeat of where we started. It's just a very odd scent to encounter floating atop what appears to be a fairly standard American whiskey. Unsurprisingly, that floral sweetness carries over into the palate, which is mostly inoffensive; very perfume-y, to be sure, but with a bit of rye-like bite and a good caramel presence that keeps things from being one-note. I'd describe the spice as being heavy on nutmeg and clove; maybe a bit like apple pie, complete with the apple. The finish delivers much the same but ends on that very floral character, kind of like rose water. Not sure I like this one as much as the Oat Whiskey, but it's still fascinating in its own way, and the flowery notes might make a good match for summer.


Those, my friends, are some strange spirits. I'm still figuring out what to do with them (aside from the tequila; it's Cinco de Mayo tomorrow, after all) but I will gladly report my findings.

Master Martinez

In the vein of the Best Boulevardier, here's a revised take on a classic that absolutely dominates other drinks that share its name. I'm a big fan of the Martinez, but this is the best one that I've come up with yet.

1 1/2 oz Tanqueray Malacca (there is no substitute)

1/2 oz barrel-aged kirschwasser

1/2 oz sweet vermouth (Carpano Antica, because it's worth it)

1 dash maraschino liqueur (Luxardo, duh)

1 dash cinnamon syrup

3 dashes Angostura bitters

Stir well and strain into a cocktail glass; garnish with a lemon twist (check out the channel knife; haven't used that in a while!) and sip slowly.

Sorry about the kirschwasser; it's something you'll have to make age at home yourself, but it's totally worth it. Some brief time in oak really does help to round off the raw edges of the kirsch and mixes very nicely with the vermouth.

Vinous

Sometimes, in-laws bring over a bottle of red wine in an effort to be helpful. And sometimes, that wine is not good, but you don't want to dump it so as not to offend them. There is a solution to this quandary: make red wine syrup.

After taking that step, I had the bizarre notion for a cocktail composed primarily of altered wine-stuff. This was the result.

2 oz brandy (something decent, but not too fancy; a VS cognac would do nicely, I used Asbach Uralt)
1/2 oz mulled wine syrup*
1/2 oz amontillado sherry
2 dashes Angostura bitters

Stir and strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a large strip of orange peel (blood orange is what I had, so I used that; it looks very pretty in the glass).

*Take about 12 oz of the (red) wine in question, place it into a small saucepan, and place over medium-low heat. Add 1/2 teaspoon each cloves and allspice berries, and 1 1/2 teaspoon crushed cinnamon. Bring to a simmer; add brown sugar to taste (this wine was a sweet red, so it only took about a tablespoon; other reds may require as much as 1/4 cup for balance). Reduce to about half the original volume, strain, and allow to cool. Keep in an airtight container in the fridge.

Old Hat

Merry Christmas! We had a blast of a party this year, but one of my favorite bits was presenting this year's booze-themed gift, a fully-fledged cocktail in its own right. Eric & Sam's "Old Hat" Handmade Bottled Cocktail! Coming soon to a store near you!*

*never actually coming to any stores anywhere

I dig the concept of bottled cocktails. They don't tend to work well with citrus or egg, neither of which hold up to extended storage, but most spirit or liqueur-based drinks do quite well in the bottle. Batching in advance this way provides a couple useful features: bottled cocktails are consistent, easy to serve, and easy to transport. They're increasingly popping up even in good cocktail bars, primarily for those first two reasons, but the third makes them a quality party favor too.

At its core, this is a modified Vieux Carré, a cocktail that I've loved and riffed on for a while. In addition to rye, brandy, and sweet vermouth, the original features Bénédictine; this version swaps that out for Casoni 1814, which we discussed recently. Along with some hefty dashes of bitters for balance, and a little absinthe to add back the herbal component, this makes for a drink that manages to be both subtle and complex (though I'm starting to brag now). And now, the recipe, so that it can be recreated in perpetuity!

Here's the cast of characters, with one important exception. The thing about bottled cocktails is that unless you're going to serve them over ice, they don't get diluted in the same way that stirred or shaken drinks do, so you've got to add the water missing from the final product. Without it, the balance won't be right at all. (Update after extensive testing: I've found that I like my Old Hat best over a large ice cube with a lemon twist; I probably could have upped the water content a bit more for serving neat.)

So, to produce 1 liter of bottled cocktail, you'll need:

300 mL rye whiskey (I used the mild Old Overholt here, so I bumped up the proportion a little)
250 mL French brandy (I'm not going to insist on cognac, but it must be quality stuff, and French is a reliable indicator of smoothness)
250 mL sweet vermouth (that's Noilly Prat in the picture, but I actually used Cinzano in the finished product)
50 mL Casoni 1814
10 mL absinthe
10 mL thyme syrup (any syrup would be just fine, it's mostly for texture)
150 mL filtered water
10 dashes Peychaud's bitters
5 dashes holiday spice bitters
5 dashes Bitter Truth Jerry Thomas bitters (7-8 dashes of Angostura would be an acceptable substitute for these last two)

Stir all of the above and bottle (a funnel is helpful). It will taste differently when chilled, and you'll overdilute if you stir it with ice, so leave it be for now. Astute readers may have noticed that this yields slightly over 1 liter; that's because you should pour off a tasting portion once the bottle cools down. Strictly to check your work, you see.

Here's a nice bonus picture of the labels, which were painstakingly handwritten out by yours truly. Like garnish, I generally discount labeling, which just doesn't seem all that important - except when it is. Handing out unlabeled bottles of high-proof booze seems a little bit shady to me. And if you're gonna have labels, they might as well be classy, old-school styled, hand-lettered ones, right?

Halloween House Party

I'm not sure how you all spent your Halloween, but I got to spend mine in just about the best way I can imagine - tending bar at a house party for my buddy Vern.  It was a blast!  This was a bit different from some of the tasting events that I've done in the past, in that there were no "courses", just a set menu of a couple simple drinks that I served up on request.  In other words, pretty straightforward bartending, but I got to have some fun with the menu.

I mentioned this a little bit earlier, but the party was themed after "Nostalgia" and I decided to try for a menu that reminded me of the bars I frequented when I first turned of age.  It's all relatively simple stuff, easy to batch and serve quickly.  Yet I was pleased by the response I received; one of the best comments I got was that the overall set of drinks were all excellent and nicely varied.  Exactly what I was aiming for!

Because I batched most of these drinks for quick service, I'm going to provide a couple different versions: the full measurements that I was using to batch, and scaled-down individual versions, in case you want to try them before committing to a larger quantity.

DRINK #1: COSMOTINI
The big hit of the night.  I wound up nearly running out of base ingredients for the juice mix!  No surprise; this is really just a classic Cosmopolitan, served with the option of gin (which is now my preferred method).  Service seemed to split the vodka and gin pretty evenly.

Batched:
10 oz cranberry juice
6 oz triple sec
4 oz lime juice
10 dashes Fee Brothers Cranberry Bitters
To serve: combine 2 oz of gin (the citrus-forward New Amsterdam) or citrus vodka with 2 1/2 oz of the mix above; shake vigorously, strain into a glass, and garnish with cranberries and a lemon wedge (for vodka) or a lime wedge (for gin).

Individual:
1 1/4 oz cranberry juice
3/4 oz triple sec
1/2 oz lime juice
1 (large) dash Fee Brothers Cranberry Bitters
2 oz gin (or citrus vodka)
Shake and strain into a cocktail glass; add garnish as described above.

DRINK #2: WISCONSIN OLD-FASHIONED
Less of my typical very remixable old-fashioned, more the Wisconsin style that I was first introduced to: the kind with a muddled cherry, orange, and splash of soda.  Simplified here for speed, but very successfully.  This is what I was sipping on all night, in between a couple other random combinations.

Batched:
12 oz brandy (can't remember exactly what we had; my recommendation would be Torres)
4 oz bourbon (Cabin Still)
2 oz Cherry Heering
2 oz soda water
25 dashes Regan's No. 6 Orange Bitters
To serve: pour 2 1/2 oz over ice, add a small orange slice, and stir to combine.

Individual:
1 1/2 oz brandy
1/2 oz bourbon
1/4 oz Cherry Heering
1/4 oz soda water
Stir over ice; garnish as described above.

DRINK #3: WHATEVER & COKE
This was my attempt to accommodate the house-party vibe, letting guests choose a spirit for combination with a mixer.  It also provided a booze-free option for those unfortunate folks who couldn't consume alcohol.  For the cola portion, I'll point you to a previous post; in this batch, I ran short on brown sugar and added in a sizeable portion of molasses, a substitution that I may have to repeat.  The end result was reportedly "amazing" and went down very well indeed.

Homemade Cola:
4 oz TC Cola syrup
12 oz soda water
1 dash lemon juice
Combine and bottle for service; this will foam up when mixed, so do this in an oversize vessel.

To serve: Combine 1 1/2 oz spirit of choice over ice, with 4-5 oz of homemade cola to taste; garnish at whim with lime (for rum), lemon (for vodka), or orange (for whiskey).

Alternatively: Pour 6 oz over ice and garnish with cranberries.  For a low-proof option, add 1/2 oz Cherry Heering and a couple dashes of Regan's Orange Bitters for a "Cherry Coke".

Different Drum Drinks

A good friend brought over a bottle of Different Drum, which he'd somehow snapped up in a truly insane rush to order the first 1,500 bottles.  After a first tasting, he decided that he wanted to try it in a cocktail.  I was happy to oblige!

This is funky stuff - rich, smooth, slightly sweet, redolent of roasted coffee.  A lot like a quality coffee liqueur but without that cloying sugar component.  I dig it, although I think it really shines when paired with another base.  Like so:

Fine Grind:

1 1/4 oz Different Drum rum
1 oz armagnac brandy (I used Tariquet VS Bas-Armagnac; a mild bourbon would work too)
1/2 oz red vermouth (Primitivo Quiles again)
1/4 oz Licor 43 (you could scale this back or omit entirely depending on your taste)
1 dash Fee Brothers Black Walnut bitters
1 dash orange bitters (Regan's No. 6)

Stir and strain into a cocktail glass; garnish with a strip of orange peel.

This wound up being the winner in our small tasting group; it's a Manhattan-esque sipper (or more properly a Saratoga Cocktail) that highlights the flavor of the Drum without letting it dominate everything else.  But I also wanted to try something less spirit-forward, resulting in this take on a Dark & Stormy:

Drumming in the Dark:

2 oz Different Drum rum
1/2 oz Mathilde Poire liqueur
1/2 lime juice
2-3 oz ginger beer (Reed's Extra Ginger is my favorite)

Shake the first three ingredients and strain over fresh ice; top with the ginger beer, stir, and garnish with a lime wheel.

Overall, I'm sold.  Different Drum seems like a solid and interesting way to bring coffee flavor into cocktails without the added sweetness of coffee liqueurs.  I'm not sure about the tagline ("A rum for the bourbon drinker") as it seems more like a rum for the espresso aficionado, but I like both those things so it works out.

Be warned, this clearly isn't a simple substitution for other rums, whiskeys, or what-have-you.  This occupies a place in my mind next to quality spiced rums (Sailor Jerry's all the way) and overproof dark rums (like Lemon Hart 151): too potent to use as a base in a simple cocktail, but bringing very unique flavors for which it's tough to substitute.  Also, Different Drum only seems to be available direct from the La Colombe distillery, so don't go seeking it out at your local liquor store.

Housecat

I have to admit that this is not strictly an original creation.  A recipe for the Horsecar popped up in one of my feeds, and I misread the name, but liked the new one so much that it needed a cocktail to suit.  The original is a tasty sort of inverse-proportions Perfect Manhattan, but I thought the new name deserved something plusher.  This being a very old-school drink, I figured on an old-school treatment of swapping the core spirit, and the result turned out well indeed after a couple additional tweaks.

1 oz brandy (Cognac would be a fine choice, but Armagnac a better one; don't skimp on quality here)
1 oz dry vermouth (Dolin for me)
1 oz sweet vermouth (Carpano Antica; again, not the place to go cheap)
1 dash Cherry Heering
3 dashes aromatic bitters (Angostura)

Stir and strain into a chilled cocktail glass.  Garnish with a cherry or orange peel (or both) but only if you're not feeling lazy.

Pirate Dram

Here's a random Friday-evening old-school nightcap, cobbled together (as always seems to be the case) out of ingredients I'm trying to use up in preparation for our move.

3/4 oz Pyrat XO rum (or similar spicy, navy-style rum; Admiral Pusser's, perhaps)
3/4 oz VS brandy (technically I used a Torres 5 Year, but the style is similar)
1/2 oz Highlands scotch (or other smoky, peaty goodness)
1 barspoon Licor 43
1 barspoon honey-sage syrup
3 dashes Bitter Truth Jerry Thomas' Own Decanter bitters

Stir and strain into a cocktail glass.  Garnish?  What's that?

You could probably bump up the scotch if that's your pleasure.  The overall effect was oddly close to Drambuie, hence the name.

Notebook Cocktail #2

Here's a sort of vaguely julep-style concoction, created largely because I had a huge bundle of mint to use up.  Also, Armagnac, which I love deeply.

1 oz Armagnac brandy
1 oz rye whiskey
1/2 oz passionfruit juice
1/4 oz mango shrub
1 dash aromatic bitters (Angostura in this case)
1 large bunch mint (about 20 leaves)
1 Demerara sugar cube

Muddle the mint and sugar in a mixing glass (add a small dash of water if needed).  Add ice, shake briefly, and strain over fresh finely cracked ice.  Garnish with a fresh bunch of mint.

Spiced Pear Goodness

I don't normally post specific syrup recipes, mostly because they never really deviate from the standard method, but this one is a little more complicated. Plus it turned out too well not to brag about.

1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1 cup water
1 stick cinnamon
8-10 whole cloves
4-5 whole allspice berries
1 large pear

Dissolve the sugar in the water over medium heat. Add the spices, cover, and reduce the heat to low. Simmer (don't boil!) for about 20 minutes, then kill the heat and let stand for another 10 minutes.

Chop the pear into 1/4-inch cubes and place into a French press or other nonreactive vessel. Pour the hot syrup over the pear pieces while straining out the spices. Let stand for about12 hours, then strain again and store in the refrigerator for up to a month.

This is calibrated for about 2 cups of syrup, which is about all I ever make for home use.

As a bonus, here's a damned fine use of the above:

1 1/2 oz cognac or French brandy
1/2 oz spiced pear syrup
3/4 oz orange juice

Shake and strain over fresh ice in a double old-fashioned glass , then top with 2 oz dry Prosecco or Cava. Stir gently and serve with a twist of orange peel.

The Blackbird

A riff on a theme which splits the difference between a Martini and a Sour.

1 1/2 oz brandy

1 oz dry vermouth

1/2 oz blackberry syrup

1/2 oz lemon juice

3 dashes orange bitters

3 dashes cinnamon tincture

Shake and strain into a chilled cocktail glass and garnish with a blackberry, either frozen or on a cocktail pick.

Yuletide Milk Punch

Here's something slightly different for the holidays: a large-bore recipe, suitable for making in bulk.  I'm both giving these as gifts and setting some away for later consumption.  The recipe is largely swiped from David Wondrich's Punch (full of other marvelous tipples too) although I have downsized it and added my own flavors. The result is something like a dessert wine, although more unctuous, and certainly a good deal stiffer.

Again: this is a recipe that you make in bulk, mostly because it's a pain and hardly worth making in miniature.  For the adventurous, it's well worth the journey.

You'll need 2 liters of brandy - preferably something decent, although it's not worth using top-tier cognac.  A reasonable French brandy such as Raynal VSOP is fine.  If you use domestic brandy, pick at least a VSOP (though remember that use of the grading system is unregulated outside of France).  Alternatively, pick out a 1.75L bottle and make up for the missing amount with a nice, rich dark rum such as Gosling's Black Seal.  Interesting results might also be achieved with a good slug of bourbon or rye whiskey.

Peel 4 lemons and 1 orange using a vegetable peeler, avoiding as much of the white pith as possible, and steep them in the liquor for at least 24 hours.  Squeeze as much of the citrus juice as possible into a one-quart jar, fill to the top with water, cover and refrigerate.

When the brandy is ready, pour it into a large pot and add 1 lb of dark natural sugar (such as turbinado).  Pour in the citrus-water blend, refill the jar with cool water, add it, and heat until warm.  Then, add a one-quart container of whole milk and continue heating until the milk curdles.  Grate in one whole nutmeg and half of a cinnamon stick and let infuse for an hour, stirring about every fifteen minutes.  Finally, add one teaspoon of vanilla extract and stir one last time.

Pour this through a fine sieve (a very clean dish towel, pillowcase, t-shirt, etc.) into your storage vessel of choice, squeezing to extract as much liquid as possible.  Discard the resulting curd; technically the stuff is edible, but I don't think the term "delicious" applies, certainly not without careful preparation for a deep-fry. Refrigerate the punch for a couple of days, letting what must settle do its business, then carefully pour off into clean bottles.  Use a coffee filter and a funnel to avoid both impurities and waste.

You can refrigerate the bottles or store them at cellar temperature (i.e. cool, but not cold).  The final product can be served many ways.  Pour it over ice and you have a lovely digestif; add soda water with a dash of bitters, and you have an apertif.  Add even more soda water (bitters optional) for a cooling long drink, or add hot water instead for a warming one (a little extra sugar and grating of nutmeg are welcome).

Best of all, Milk Punch makes a wonderful gift.  Slap on labels if you want, ribbons if you like, bows if you must, and hand the bottles out at your Annual Winter Holiday Celebration of Choice.  Most of all, please do enjoy.

The Pirate

Like the Cougar Bite, this is an older drink of mine, one that found its way onto the list of the restaurant where I sporadically tend bar.  Unlike the Cougar Bite, though, it never did sell particularly well and fell victim to the seasonality of its main sweetening agent.  I honestly don't give a damn, though - this is still one of my absolute favorite cocktails.

I think of this as very much a bartender's drink rather than a mixologist's.  For one, it was conceived as a way to use up some extra bottles of E&J brandy that had been accidentally ordered by our manager.  For two, it's a relatively simple drink, and quick to turn out.  For three, it's very amenable to substitution and adjustment, making it really more a class of drinks (like the Collins) than a single recipe.

Here's the original form, the so-called Colonial Pirate:

1 1/2 oz brandy (E&J, as noted above, but any will do, though VSOP-grade or better is preferable)
3/4 oz rich pineapple syrup*
1 large dash Fee's Aztec Chocolate bitters
1 large dash Fee's Aromatic bitters**

Shake the above lightly, strain into a cocktail glass, and top off with about 1oz of dry sparkling wine to taste (Champagne, Cava, California bubbly, whatever you've got).

*This one actually is easy, unlike that damned squash syrup.  Bring a syrup of two cups turbinado or other natural sugar and one cup water to a simmer, then pour over a peeled and cored pineapple sliced into 1/2 inch cubes.  Let stand for 24 hours and pour through a fine strainer, making sure to reserve the pineapple cubes, as they make a very nice garnish if rolled in additional fine sugar and dried on a cooling rack.

**We used to use a ras el hanout bitters in the restaurant, but this makes a reasonable substitute.

Again, this is a drink with endless potential for variation.  Ran out of brandy and need to use rum?  No problem - you'll have a Caribbean Pirate (I sometimes name them specifically after the island from whence the rum hails, resulting in the "Barbados Pirate", "Cuban Pirate", etc.)  The Dutch Pirate is made with genever in place of the brandy; the Scandinavian Pirate uses aquavit, which results in perhaps my favorite variation.  And so on.  Vary the fruit, if you like - just stick with a medium-dark natural sugar.  Mango makes an excellent alternative, though you should add a dash of lime juice to compensate for the missing tartness.  For any of these, vary the amount of bubbly to taste; add slowly, stir and taste frequently.  You want to add crispness without overwhelming the drink's spicy, rich texture.  I'm gonna go make another one.

The Turkish Market

Just playing around at home:

1 1/2 oz French brandy (VSOP at least, XO if possible)
1/2 oz apricot liqueur (only the superb Rothman & Winter, please)
1/2 oz chai-spiced red vermouth (I'll link later... Speakeasy provides a good recipe meanwhile)
1/2 oz passionfruit juice

Stir over rocks in a cocktail glass.

A nice, spicy cocktail with a good backdrop of tropical fruit.  Could certainly add a dash of dark rum if using a lighter brandy.  The name is derived from a drink we used to serve at the restaurant where I work, the Turkish Sunrise - a kind of Tequila Sunrise with pomegranate liqueur.  This is a darker, dustier interpretation.

Passionfruit juice is an astoundingly flexible ingredient, although it can be tough to find.  Check your local co-op for now and we'll discuss it later.